Most of you might or might not know of my hatred for eggs. Quite possibly one of the most vile creations ever created. And a key component in today’s food item, mayonnaise.

To some, there is no finer condiment. They use it on hamburgers, hot dogs, balogna sandwiches and (gasp!) hot dogs.

To me, it has it’s place but with some serious restrictions. First of all, with regards to sandwiches (hamburgers fall into this), Mayo is a white meat condiment only, and only for cold applications. You people puttin’ mayo on your burgers or hot chicken sandwiches need to stop. That’s just wrong. Same goes for roast beef, balogna or any other lunch-type meat made from cow. Turkey and Pig only, if you please.

It can also be used for salad-type sandwiches. Except for egg. Isn’t that like giving a cow milk? Also, it must be used in limited quantities so as not to over power the flavor of the other ingredients. You can also use it for potato salad, but don’t add any hardboiled egg. Again, what are you people thinking?

Also, please stop with the ‘weird’ uses for mayo. You know, using it instead of sour cream. You know who you are and all y’all need to knock it off.

Feel lucky I’m not even going to get started with Miracle Whip. If you are ‘one of them’, make that a news years resolution to stop using that garbage. Man, I’m getting the heebie jeebies just thinkin’ about it.

And, honest-to-robot-ninjas people. Stop with the mayo on Hot Dogs. I’m sure there is a law someplace, and if there isn’t, there should be!

2 Responses to “Mayo”

1. MrChips Says:
   December 11th, 2007 at 9:06 pm

   DB, you just have no taste whatsoever dude.

   There is truly no better combination of condiments to grace the top of a dog than a slather of mayo combined with a dollop of sweet-pickle relish.

   And the best burgers I have ever made included nothing more than high-quality ground beef (22% fat thank you!) a little salt and pepper, an ultra-hot grill, a fresh onion bun, and…wait for it…mayo! Nothing more, nothing less!

2. db Says:
   December 12th, 2007 at 11:29 am

   I just threw up a little in my mouth.

   ick.

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